Windows, christmas, and hope?

Playing with make-up, lord help us!

Our Christmas card pic

The girls at Santa breakfast. Yes, that's right, the one where I slammed Joslyn's finger in the van door on the way in. Which is why, as you will notice on the Christmas card, the picture of them is not of them with Santa. B/c, ya know, when mom slams your finger in the car door, you really aren't too interested in seeing the big guy! And then when you do get interested, he's gone. So, you improvise, and sit on a reindeer instead! Then, your mom will also feel so guilty she will take you to see Tangled.

The girls at Justin's parent's on Christmas eve after our Christmas eve church service. Aren't they adorable?

This. This is the face of Christmas. She is so in love with her Lotso bear. So in love in fact, that even when she realized he was a mean character and she was scared of him, she still wouldn't put him down. Don't ask me why. I have no idea,

Me with my girls before Jaycee's Christmas program at church. She did so good, sang her little heart out! I was very proud of her.

That last 2 weeks have been a whirlwind of activity! From parties (so many I lost count), to shopping, baking, wrapping, cleaning, unwrapping, cleaning again, etc etc. Some of my favorite things: shopping with the girls at dollar tree for gifts for them to give people, making/decorating homemade sugar cookies with icing, watching Jaycee try to wrap presents, cooking breakfast in the kitchen with my husband, watching my babies hold their candle and sing silent night. We decided to do our Christmas together during the day of Christmas eve. We really try to squeeze everyone in, and this happened to be a time when we didn't have anything else going on so we took advantage of it. We opened gifts and made a big breakfast. After a long nap, we went to the Christmas eve service at church. This is my favorite part of Christmas. I wouldn't care if I got a gift in the world, as long as I got to go. I love slowing down and focusing on the real reason for Christmas. Seeing my little girls soak in the Christmas story. Hearing their sweet voices sing silent night and away in a manger. It's all so, peaceful.

After the service, we go to Justin's dad's house for Christmas eve dinner. His step-mom is so funny, she made each of her 3 kids their favorite thing to eat lol! I think that was really thoughtful. We all got some wonderful gifts, and really enjoyed each other's company.

Christmas morning, the girls found their Santa goodies, then we packed up and headed over to Rara's house. Which, um, I don't have any pictures of! I am so bad about that. But we had a great breakfast with mom, bob, Grannie, and Jordan. Mom got me an awesome gift, razorback basketball tickets, 5 games! She got some too, so we can go together!!

From there, we headed towards Birta to see my dad. But first, we stopped off in Washburn to see Justin's grandma and grandpa. Once again, we were all blessed with nice gifts, and seeing more people that we love to see. We snacked a little, played a game. Then got back on the road to Birta! There, we were given more gifts (I'm seeing a pattern here...) and the girls got power wheels jeeps to ride on! I promise I will get a picture up soon. We ate some more (hmm, another pattern) and visited, then headed home.

Not long after we got home, Justin's mom and step-dad came over, and you guessed it, more gifts! We really are truly blessed, and undeserving of all these generous people in our lives. They stayed with us till Monday, and as usual the girls had a blast spending time with their mimi and popi.

All this past week, the girls and I spent time together watching new movies, playing with toys, and enjoying each other. They really are growing up so fast, and I enjoyed getting some time with them! I'm going to miss this time when we have to get back to the real world next week.

But oh, never fear, our time hasn't been without struggles of course. Which is good, b/c if everything were simple, I would have no good stories to tell, right?

First of all, Elvis was picked up by the fuzz, and taken to dog jail. I had to pay 30$ to bail him out, and am still trying to decide if he was worth it. I kid, I kid!!! We are glad we found him and he was safe. But seriously, if he digs out of the fence again, I may consider selling him to a sausage factory.......

Also, we got new windows on our house!! Yes, yes, this is a good thing. Our house was built in 1979, and it still had the original windows. They were not doing their job well, considering all were broken in some way. My mother, being the kind and caring soul she is, offered to help us out in this endeavor, and viola, hello Lowes! It took the poor guys all day to get the job done, even though there were only like 7 windows. But, when you have metal that's been embedded in brick for 30 years, things get a little messy. But guess what, now I have windows that open!!! Can you believe that?? It's the little things in life, right? Oh wait, let's take a step back here. Not all of my windows open. On the back of our house, there is a large kitchen window that looks out into the back yard. Why it isn't a door, I do not know. But our plan is to knock out said window/wall and put in a door. So, when replacing the windows, we skipped this one. Now, I want to say, I love my husband very, very much. But there is no denying his temper. Today, as the dogs barked incessantly in the backyard as usual, he thought it would be a good idea to bang on the window to get their attention to stop. Well, not so much. You guessed it, the window broke. Awesome, right? To be frank, we are not in any kind of position to replace this window currently. But, never fear! Here comes Justin with a cardboard shooting target, complete with bullet holes and picture of the bad guy!!! And for now, with the addition of duct tape, that is my back window. But it could be worse, right? We could have not even had a piece of cardboard to fix it with! We will just add this little incident to my list of "ways god is trying to keep me humble."

Someone asked me earlier if 2010 was better for us than 2009. I answered no. In 2009, a lot of things felt unstable, and we were unsure about a lot. But, we had so much hope. Hopes of owning our first home and it being something we could be proud of. Hopes of Justin having a great job that could support us. Hopes of my health improving. In 2010, we finally got more settled, but nothing went the way we had hoped. We were able to finally buy a home, bet we are not happy here, for many reasons. Justin's job turned out to not be what we thought it would. My health only seems to get worse, not better. While I love my job and the kids I work with, I didn't see myself having to start working. I struggle so, so much with dwelling on these things. I know, in my heart, that I need to concentrate on all the good things in my life. My beautiful healthy kids, my loving husband. I continue to pray and ask God to please give me peace, and a happy heart. To make me thankful for the things I have, and to give me the strength to endure whatever happens, and still be able to give to others.

So, here's to hoping that 2011 will be the best year ever. And maybe, all that needs to change, is me.

And here, for your entertainment, a short video of sweet Jaycee in her church Christmas program.

Thanksgiving

On the big steps at the rock gym

Jos playin ball

Jaycee with a ball

Jos and her great-grandpa

On the front porch at moms house

In mom's living room, I was trying to get a good shot!

With their great-grannie





With my mom- Rara

I better get a good post in for Thanksgiving, before all of the Christmas craziness really sets in!

We had a great Thanksgiving. Ours started the Wednesday night before, as we have so much family that we have to spread holidays out over a few days! Our first meal was at mom's house with mom, bob, grannie, Jordan, gidget, and the 4 of us. Mom and I both cooked some and we got some smoked turkeys. It was wonderful! It was nice to just relax and enjoy my family.

Thursday for lunch we went to the rock gym on the school campus to have thanksgiving with the Bridges'. We are so blessed to be a part of this wonderful family. Talk about some awesome food! The girls had a blast running around the gym and playing with the other kids. We left there and headed to Birta to see my dad and family. We had some more yummy food, and good visiting with family. I seriously love this holiday. I mean, what could be better than just sitting around eating delicious food and enjoying each other?

Oh, yeah, and shopping. That's another good thing, hah! I was able to talk my brother's girlfriend in to coming shopping with me. We hit toys r us at 9:30 thurs night and shopped untill 8am friday morning! Than that afternoon we put up our christmas decorations, and Justins mom and family arrived from texas to spend some time with us.

I am so thankful for all of the wonderful family I have. Without them, I don't know where I would be. I am thankful for my wonderful husband and 2 gorgeous healthy children. I am thankful that my health isn't any worse than it is. I am thankful for a roof over my head and a car to drive (no matter how humble and un-impressive they are ;) ) I am thankful that Justin and I both have jobs, and that I happen to love mine! I am thankful for all of the adorable little faces I get to see twice a week at MDO. I am thankful for a church home full of loving and caring people. I am thankful to live in a country where I can choose to attend this church.

To some it may look like we don't have much, and by a lot of standards we don't! But we have the most important things, that's for sure!

Just pics.....

I don't really have time to do much writing, but wanted to get up some pics from the past month or so that I finally downloaded!

Jaycee dressed to go to the fair with her school.

Our view of the field for the razorback game at cowboys stadium.

World's biggest TV.



Phil and Brent, aka Roy D Mercer radio show. They were sitting right behind us, and since everyone my mother goes she attracts someone from the male species, we ended up getting to know them.

Jaycee's hair one night after she let me blow dry it. So gorgeous!

Jos wanted a pic of hers too............

Chase, Justin, and Jos carving pumpkins.

Jaycee posing with her pumpkin

Jos with hers

Cinderella and Jesse

I believe this one explains itself...... OK it's sort of cute. How come in the only decent picture of me in 2 years, I'm dressed like a bumble bee? Kind of like how your Driver license pic is always awful, then you are stuck looking at it for years.....

Here they are in the outfits they wore to Jaycee's school party.

Modeling some cute outfits we got them in Dallas....

Waiting to go in rain forest cafe. My sole reason for posting this pic is Joslyn's face. This is the side of her that I am trying to explain to people when they tell me :"oh, she is so sweeeet!"

Homecoming pep really with Jaycee's class.

Hope everyone had a great Halloween!

No, you aren't hallucinating!

I really am blogging again so soon! I had a few things I wanted to get out, and made myself sit down and do it!

I was just thinking about how much I love my church, and all of the people in it. Tonight we were so blessed that Justin got to come to church with us. As we were leaving, he said "wow, you really know everyone. I think everybody we saw said hi to you!" It just made me stop and thinking. Ya know, he's right. I walk through the halls, and so many people take the time to say hi, give a smile, handshake, or even a hug. I am so fortunate to have all of these amazing people in my life. I missed mops today, b/c I am a disorganized mess, and everyone I saw that goes to mops either asked where I was or said they missed me. How awesome is that? These people, who haven't even known me that long, and have no obligation to me, care enough to take the time to let me know I was missed. I know, for a fact, that God picked this particular church for me to belong to. So many times, and so many people in my life have made me feel worthless. But here, I never feel that way. I honestly believe now that the best way to bring people to a relationship with God is to show his love through actions. I would not have continued to come back, and bring my family back, to this church if I hadn't felt his love there. And if I hadn't continued to come, I wouldn't be growing in my relationship with him right now.

As I said before, I missed MOPs b/c I had a Dr appointment scheduled for today and didn't even realize what I had done until it was too late to reschedule! I had a lot of things I needed to discuss with him, so I really needed to go. By the way, this Dr is my rheumatologist, who I see about every 3 months unless something goes wrong. I absolutely love this Dr. He was actually the first "rheumy" (what we lupus people call our rheumatologist) I saw after I was diagnosed by a general practice Dr. Since Justin was deployed shortly after my diagnosis, having a kind and caring Dr. meant the world to me. Of course when we lived in TN, I had to find new ones, and as much as I liked the Dr's at Vanderbilt, I always missed Dr. Branum! So one of the first things I did when we moved home was get in touch with his office and get back in to see him. He remembered me well, and it was like we picked up right where we left off! He never fails to take any issue I have seriously. Today, I wanted to talk to him about this really painful bump in my left thumb. It sits right on the joint, and gets very sore and swollen throughout the day. He told me it was a nodule on the tendon there, and that it is very common in people with arthritis. But he also said that if not taken care of, it could get worse and more painful. So, we decided for now to just try a cortisone shot in it, and he said most of the time that works. If not, we'll be looking at surgery on my hand to remove the bump, ugh. The shot was very painful! He gave me a shot to numb it first, but it still hurt quite a bit! My whole hand and lower part of my arm have been pretty sore the rest of the day. But I'm praying this will work and we won't have to do anything else.

Other than that, after getting my lab tests back, he said my inflammation levels are high right now, which in other words means my lupus is showing some activity. But, thankfully the only way it's affecting me right now is my general fatigue and soreness. Isn't it funny the things we learn to cope with? That I'm actually thankful to be in pain? It sounds so strange I know. But when I think about the pain I'm in, I remind myself that it won't kill me. I'd rather have the pain, the fatigue, and the forgetfulness, than damaged kidneys, liver, heart, or lungs. He told me to try and take it easy. Hah! I told him I would, that all I needed was a maid, a nanny, a chef, and a job for Justin that paid about twice as much ;) But, he is right, I have to be careful. The scary season for me is coming up. Since lupus essentially means that your immune system attacks your own healthy cells, the best way to control it is by taking medications that reduce your immune system. But, then of course that makes you more susceptible to every little bug that goes around! And now that I'm working with little ones, I'm going to be exposed to all kinds of things I'm sure. But I will be praying that I stay healthy and can continue to do everything I need to do. I am just to thankful to be able to have a good Dr. To have health insurance, and to live in a time when there is enough knowledge about my illness to be able to treat it.

OK, enough of my rambling :) Have a good rest of the week everyone!

Love-Jasmin

Hi ho, hi ho....

What a whirlwind life has been lately. I had gotten so used to lazy days with my kids being norm. Now they are rare! In fact I think there have been none since school started. But a full life is a blessing, even though it's exhausting!

Random thoughts from my life lately:

I really, really, love children. Yes, what I do is my job, and it can be hard. But when I see those little babies and toddlers, I just smile. I love being able to spend time with these little miracles that God has made. Seeing their adorable smiles, hearing their sweet laughter. I am so blessed to spend my days with these little ones.

My kids are growing up way too fast. I want them to stop. But, they won't. I'm guessing they wouldn't appreciate it too much if I just stopped feeding them. I miss them. But they are learning and growing so much, and I love seeing them so happy.

My husband works too much. Like for real. Last week, he worked every day 3am-7am, and 8am-5pm all in the same day. Then had drill all weekend. Then, he had to go in last night at 11, work till 7 at that post, then go to another at 8am-5pm. I miss him. Hopefully someday we will get some quality time together again.

I love my family. All of them. I love my parents, my siblings, my in-laws. I love my friends. I have been majorly blessed by the Lord to find some great friends, and don't know where i'd be without them.

There is nothing more valuable than a good relationship with god. The closer I become to him, the easier my life gets. I feel like a better person. I feel peace.

I am terrible at being organized. I will be missing mops on wednesday b/c I have a Dr appointment scheduled and did not realize it was the same day untill it was too late. Go me. Last mops meeting, I didn't remember untill the morning of that I was supposed to bring food. The other day? I came home fomr work/picking up jaycee from school and found that I left the door to the house open all day. Thankfully the screen door was mostly closed, but not in any way locked. Yup.

Some recent pics of the girls:

Doesn't she just look so grown up? I can't stand it! She's so gorgeous though. And so smart!

Jos can't stand to not have her picture taken too...

I volunteered to help at Jaycee's school last week, and Jos had to come with me so she ate breakfast with her. It was so cute how Jaycee was showing her how to do everything.

Love to all-Jasmin

Worst. Blogger. Ev-a.

Yeah, that would be me. How does it get to be almost a month in between posts and me not even notice?? Time is flying by like crazy.

Since then, a lot of things have happened! The girls have started their schools and are loving it. Jaycee is such a big girl, going 5 days a week from 7:30-3! She is having a great time but she's so exhausted every day when she gets home. Joslyn is going to Mother's day out and having a blast! Here they are on their first day:

Jaycee with her teacher Mrs. Bridges at her orientation. She just loves her already!

Also, for the first time in 7 years, I am working! I am teaching at Mother's day out, along with my nursery work. I really do love it all. I love children and babies. I love all the people I work with. It has been quite and adjustment for all of us, mostly me. My body isn't use to doing so much, and I have been dealing with a lot of pain and fatigue. But i'm hoping it will get better as I get more used to it. I see the Dr next week and will discuss everything with him. I really hope I can continue to handle everything. After all these years of struggling to get by, I just want us in a comfortable position, and feel like I need to do whatever it takes to get us there. I often feel like the life I planned for was ripped away from me. I had a scholarship to college, was planning on getting a degree and a good job. Then all of a sudden, bam, i'm sick and everything falls apart. Do I still feel bitter about that sometimes? Yes, I do. I know I shouldn't. I should just trust that God has a plan for me, whether I can see it now or not. And I should just be happy with what I have. A roof over my head, a loving husband, beautiful healthy children. God always provides for us somehow, but it's still hard to not worry. If I could just work past this feeling of "it's not fair!"

Anywho, enough of my whining! Jaycee is back in gymnastics, and loving it as usual. She is getting pretty good! I am hoping that as she gets older she may like to compete. But of course I will leave that up to her.

Oh, and MOPS has started again! I am excited. I love all these girls, and it's so refreshing to just get some mommy time. I am so thankful we were able to find enough childcare workers. I was so stressed about it and feeling like a failure as moppets coordinator since I couldn't solve our problem. I hope and pray they all continue to come and help us! We had a lot of moms and a lot of kiddos so we need a lot of help!

Some other randomness:

I attended an event at our church called the girl within, with vicki courtney as our speaker and addison road leading our music. It was amazing! I went with a few girl friends and we had a blast together. I love these girls!!

After the conference addison road did a concert and I took Jaycee. She loved it! Here she is with her little friends:

And with the lead singer of addison road:

And now I really must tackle the laundry and this messy house.

Love to all-Jasmin.

B/c along with the good....

We must also remember the bad!

This has been quite a morning. My kids have the habit of letting me sleep in. Normally, I don't mind. They know where the granola bars are, so they get a snack and play together until I wake up. But today, Jaycee had other ideas. She has recently decided she really likes our dog rusty. I don't know for sure, but I think it might be b/c I have been telling her stories about how much rusty loved her when she was a baby. He was very protective of her and always wanted to be near her. It was weird for him, b/c he isn't exactly a loving dog. He was abused before we got him, and can be a little angry sometimes. But, never with her. He was fascinated by her.

Didn't trust daddy.....

or Rara.....guarded her door.....Stayed with her when she played...I have been telling her these stories lately, and she has become more interested in him. So this morning, Daddy took the dogs to the back yard before he left for work. After he was gone, Jaycee decided to stack up chairs and toys so she could reach the dead bolt lock in the door and open it to go out back and bring rusty in. Well, that part of her plan worked. Unfortunately in the process she let Elvis get out and run away. Elvis is more of a free spirit than rusty. He's very laid back, and sort of has no worries. Rusty doesn't even try to ever leave the yard without us. Elvis on the other hand runs at the first chance he gets. I don't know how much time passed between her letting him out and me figuring out what had happened. When I got up I went to take the dogs out thinking that Justin hadn't. When I couldn't find elvis I became suspicious, and dragged it out of Jaycee that she had let them loose!! So I threw the kids in the van and we drove around all morning looking for him. Finally, a neighbor saw me and said she she had seen the dog catcher pick up a dachshund. Oh great. So I called the city, and sure enough, Elvis had been picked up and taken in. They told me he was at Dr Singer's office in town, so I drove over there and busted him out of doggie jail. He was so very happy to see me! I believe I have mostly calmed down now after the scare. And I am committed to getting him some tags with his name and address on them very soon.

I just couldn't stand it if something bad happened to this guy.....

So after all that, I got every in the house safely and got us all some lunch. Then suddenly there is a knock on the door. My first thought is awe man, what did the dogs do now! I open it and there is a very young woman standing there holding 2 babies, an older one and a newborn. She tells me they have just moved in next door and don't have a phone yet and asks if she can use mine. I invite her in, and try to keep my girls from scaring her little boys. She called her husband I guess, and told him she had had an accident trying to move some furniture. She had dropped something and it landed on her foot and her cat, and her cat was squished :( When she got off the phone I asked about her babies. She said they were 2 weeks old, and just turned one year! Wow what a brave woman. I offered to come help her or watch the kids, but she just thanked me and left. I have been thinking about her and the babies ever since. I hope she has a better rest of the day....

Now, I have sat here blogging too long, and must go get ready for a busy evening. Gymnastics, dinner, then a steering team meeting. I'm praying we get everything lined up for MOP's!

Have a blessed day everyone-Jasmin