Wednesday, September 22, 2010

No, you aren't hallucinating!

I really am blogging again so soon! I had a few things I wanted to get out, and made myself sit down and do it!

I was just thinking about how much I love my church, and all of the people in it. Tonight we were so blessed that Justin got to come to church with us. As we were leaving, he said "wow, you really know everyone. I think everybody we saw said hi to you!" It just made me stop and thinking. Ya know, he's right. I walk through the halls, and so many people take the time to say hi, give a smile, handshake, or even a hug. I am so fortunate to have all of these amazing people in my life. I missed mops today, b/c I am a disorganized mess, and everyone I saw that goes to mops either asked where I was or said they missed me. How awesome is that? These people, who haven't even known me that long, and have no obligation to me, care enough to take the time to let me know I was missed. I know, for a fact, that God picked this particular church for me to belong to. So many times, and so many people in my life have made me feel worthless. But here, I never feel that way. I honestly believe now that the best way to bring people to a relationship with God is to show his love through actions. I would not have continued to come back, and bring my family back, to this church if I hadn't felt his love there. And if I hadn't continued to come, I wouldn't be growing in my relationship with him right now.

As I said before, I missed MOPs b/c I had a Dr appointment scheduled for today and didn't even realize what I had done until it was too late to reschedule! I had a lot of things I needed to discuss with him, so I really needed to go. By the way, this Dr is my rheumatologist, who I see about every 3 months unless something goes wrong. I absolutely love this Dr. He was actually the first "rheumy" (what we lupus people call our rheumatologist) I saw after I was diagnosed by a general practice Dr. Since Justin was deployed shortly after my diagnosis, having a kind and caring Dr. meant the world to me. Of course when we lived in TN, I had to find new ones, and as much as I liked the Dr's at Vanderbilt, I always missed Dr. Branum! So one of the first things I did when we moved home was get in touch with his office and get back in to see him. He remembered me well, and it was like we picked up right where we left off! He never fails to take any issue I have seriously. Today, I wanted to talk to him about this really painful bump in my left thumb. It sits right on the joint, and gets very sore and swollen throughout the day. He told me it was a nodule on the tendon there, and that it is very common in people with arthritis. But he also said that if not taken care of, it could get worse and more painful. So, we decided for now to just try a cortisone shot in it, and he said most of the time that works. If not, we'll be looking at surgery on my hand to remove the bump, ugh. The shot was very painful! He gave me a shot to numb it first, but it still hurt quite a bit! My whole hand and lower part of my arm have been pretty sore the rest of the day. But I'm praying this will work and we won't have to do anything else.

Other than that, after getting my lab tests back, he said my inflammation levels are high right now, which in other words means my lupus is showing some activity. But, thankfully the only way it's affecting me right now is my general fatigue and soreness. Isn't it funny the things we learn to cope with? That I'm actually thankful to be in pain? It sounds so strange I know. But when I think about the pain I'm in, I remind myself that it won't kill me. I'd rather have the pain, the fatigue, and the forgetfulness, than damaged kidneys, liver, heart, or lungs. He told me to try and take it easy. Hah! I told him I would, that all I needed was a maid, a nanny, a chef, and a job for Justin that paid about twice as much ;) But, he is right, I have to be careful. The scary season for me is coming up. Since lupus essentially means that your immune system attacks your own healthy cells, the best way to control it is by taking medications that reduce your immune system. But, then of course that makes you more susceptible to every little bug that goes around! And now that I'm working with little ones, I'm going to be exposed to all kinds of things I'm sure. But I will be praying that I stay healthy and can continue to do everything I need to do. I am just to thankful to be able to have a good Dr. To have health insurance, and to live in a time when there is enough knowledge about my illness to be able to treat it.

OK, enough of my rambling :) Have a good rest of the week everyone!


Monday, September 20, 2010

Hi ho, hi ho....

What a whirlwind life has been lately. I had gotten so used to lazy days with my kids being norm. Now they are rare! In fact I think there have been none since school started. But a full life is a blessing, even though it's exhausting!

Random thoughts from my life lately:

I really, really, love children. Yes, what I do is my job, and it can be hard. But when I see those little babies and toddlers, I just smile. I love being able to spend time with these little miracles that God has made. Seeing their adorable smiles, hearing their sweet laughter. I am so blessed to spend my days with these little ones.

My kids are growing up way too fast. I want them to stop. But, they won't. I'm guessing they wouldn't appreciate it too much if I just stopped feeding them. I miss them. But they are learning and growing so much, and I love seeing them so happy.

My husband works too much. Like for real. Last week, he worked every day 3am-7am, and 8am-5pm all in the same day. Then had drill all weekend. Then, he had to go in last night at 11, work till 7 at that post, then go to another at 8am-5pm. I miss him. Hopefully someday we will get some quality time together again.

I love my family. All of them. I love my parents, my siblings, my in-laws. I love my friends. I have been majorly blessed by the Lord to find some great friends, and don't know where i'd be without them.

There is nothing more valuable than a good relationship with god. The closer I become to him, the easier my life gets. I feel like a better person. I feel peace.

I am terrible at being organized. I will be missing mops on wednesday b/c I have a Dr appointment scheduled and did not realize it was the same day untill it was too late. Go me. Last mops meeting, I didn't remember untill the morning of that I was supposed to bring food. The other day? I came home fomr work/picking up jaycee from school and found that I left the door to the house open all day. Thankfully the screen door was mostly closed, but not in any way locked. Yup.
Some recent pics of the girls:
Doesn't she just look so grown up? I can't stand it! She's so gorgeous though. And so smart!
Jos can't stand to not have her picture taken too...

I volunteered to help at Jaycee's school last week, and Jos had to come with me so she ate breakfast with her. It was so cute how Jaycee was showing her how to do everything.

Love to all-Jasmin

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Worst. Blogger. Ev-a.

Yeah, that would be me. How does it get to be almost a month in between posts and me not even notice?? Time is flying by like crazy.

Since then, a lot of things have happened! The girls have started their schools and are loving it. Jaycee is such a big girl, going 5 days a week from 7:30-3! She is having a great time but she's so exhausted every day when she gets home. Joslyn is going to Mother's day out and having a blast! Here they are on their first day:

Jaycee with her teacher Mrs. Bridges at her orientation. She just loves her already!

Also, for the first time in 7 years, I am working! I am teaching at Mother's day out, along with my nursery work. I really do love it all. I love children and babies. I love all the people I work with. It has been quite and adjustment for all of us, mostly me. My body isn't use to doing so much, and I have been dealing with a lot of pain and fatigue. But i'm hoping it will get better as I get more used to it. I see the Dr next week and will discuss everything with him. I really hope I can continue to handle everything. After all these years of struggling to get by, I just want us in a comfortable position, and feel like I need to do whatever it takes to get us there. I often feel like the life I planned for was ripped away from me. I had a scholarship to college, was planning on getting a degree and a good job. Then all of a sudden, bam, i'm sick and everything falls apart. Do I still feel bitter about that sometimes? Yes, I do. I know I shouldn't. I should just trust that God has a plan for me, whether I can see it now or not. And I should just be happy with what I have. A roof over my head, a loving husband, beautiful healthy children. God always provides for us somehow, but it's still hard to not worry. If I could just work past this feeling of "it's not fair!"

Anywho, enough of my whining! Jaycee is back in gymnastics, and loving it as usual. She is getting pretty good! I am hoping that as she gets older she may like to compete. But of course I will leave that up to her.

Oh, and MOPS has started again! I am excited. I love all these girls, and it's so refreshing to just get some mommy time. I am so thankful we were able to find enough childcare workers. I was so stressed about it and feeling like a failure as moppets coordinator since I couldn't solve our problem. I hope and pray they all continue to come and help us! We had a lot of moms and a lot of kiddos so we need a lot of help!

Some other randomness:

I attended an event at our church called the girl within, with vicki courtney as our speaker and addison road leading our music. It was amazing! I went with a few girl friends and we had a blast together. I love these girls!!

After the conference addison road did a concert and I took Jaycee. She loved it! Here she is with her little friends:

And with the lead singer of addison road:

And now I really must tackle the laundry and this messy house.

Love to all-Jasmin.